I just finished watching Samsara. Its an off the beaten track one set in Ladakh. About a monk who goes to become a normal villager and then again decides to go back to the life of an ascetic having failed to find the purpose that he was searching in his life as a villager. At this point his wife comes before him and says that if he had just shown that much passion and love in his life as a monk he would have become a budha in this life itself. Hurt and dejected our man decides to turn back and spent the rest of his life with the family. Hearing this the wife smiles and the next instant you see that she wasnt ever there.
Our hero realises how fickle and weak he is and this shatters him on realizing that hes never going to find his place neither as a monk nor as a commoner.
Ive written somewhere below on the need to have a motive, a purpose in life. Ive never felt it, to be realistic but maybe that purpose is deep within and not very well enunciated but still defined and solid as to create a feel. The restlessness and the frustrations, the impatience and the anger, these cant be when all's going well which would have been the case if wherever life was taking me was my goal.
But then when would you realise that you are there or atleast that you are approaching it. The best option is to think of it as a dynamic ever changing target but to know that it just exists is all that matters which will drive you forward to do that thing you are doing just a little bit better.
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